The Life Story of John Daniels: A Retrospective
Kaitlyn Gardner and Julia Bennett
As untamable as the hair on his head, and as full of rage as a lion who has been deprived of food for days, John Daniels lives the life of a complete different man outside of West High setting.
Or hero, John Daniels (editor in chief of West High's prestigious Red & Black newspaper) was found on the doorstep of the journalism room wrapped in an MIT fleece blanket at the age of three days. With a TI-89 calculator in one hand, and a note reading "kosher only" in the other, John Daniels immediately was taken in by the warm loving care of the Red & Black.
As a young child we always knew that John was special. He grew up amongst computers, shaded from the natural light of the sun. This lead to his first words, "Source code," and "Fortran." When one walked into the back trenches of the journalism room all that was visible was the faint glow of John's glasses, reflecting the computer glow.
As he grew older, John began to find for himself. He began to design clothes made out of old newspaper articles with clever phrases on them such as "There are 10 types of people in the word, those that understand binary and those that do not." Our Personal favorite was, "I'd rather be programming."
In his sophomore year of high school we could barely pull John away from his standardized test. There was nothing as cute as when he got his first 800 n the math section of the SAT, which was the first time anyone every saw him smile. On this fateful day, John stepped out from behind the journalism walls to celebrate his success.
Not knowing where to go, he innocently stumbled upon Studio 600, where he was graced by the presence of a nice, modest young lass. He was ordering a ginger ale (hold the ale) when she caught glimpse of his sensitive character. From that day fourth John and his mystery girl were inseparable. She showed him what it meant to live life, and that it was okay for a man to enjoy veggie burgers. Unfortunately, this brief affair ended when John became too involved in the West High stage crew.
It was at this social activity that John's lifelong friendship with Mr. Colin Zwiebel began. Mr. Collin recalls their first encounter with fondness: "I met John through stage crew. We were both spotlight operator on The Pajama Game." Their friendship continued to grow as they repeatedly ran into each other in math competitions.
John has been loved and raised by the journalism crew, and we have welded his mechanical mind to benefit the Red & Black crew. Andrea Flores and Andrew Roberts put John through an intense boot camp where he learned to manage the rowdy younger staff members.
Now John is a Herculean figure, a man among men, who leads our humble school newspaper to new heights. If you see him in the hall, you can address him by the following terms: "JD, JOHN DANIELS!!! D-Unit, Jack, and Your Highness."
Seriously, we love you John Daniels, and this story is completely true, with slight embellishments.
CAPTION
Top: John gets himself comfortable for a long stretch of working on the Red & Black. Bottom-left: John's consistently tousled hair is clearly a sign of his ability as editor-in-chief. Bottom-right: Michael Prestgard-Duke demonstrates his unswerving loyalty to John and the Red & Black as an organization.
Only problem, economies of scale haven't caught up to this design concept.
At $20 a roll, I doubt many folks in the 3rd world will be making footballs from this anytime soon. Granted, I expect each roll makes more than one ball. Considering packaging tape costs $2.39 at the hardware store and police tape, $2.99, I expect that once production of this sporty tape ramps up, prices will plummet. 
